A murder at The Cannon HQ 30 May, 2009
Posted by lasagnechef in Arsenal News.trackback
I was struggling for something, anything to write about today but my subject has just been handed right to me quite brutally. My housemates have a few people over for drinks tonight as a bit of a leaving do for them, so I’ve taken a stroll outside to join in, sit down, have a drink, have a laugh, relax. I’ve had a good day on the beach, I’m in a great mood up to this point and was joking about how nothing could ruin my day right now. But to my horror, I notice a terrible, terrible thing has happened.
My Highbury Turf – is gone.
It’s gone, completely gone. I planted my turf in a pot and was the pride and joy of my garden. Now all that lies there is a pot full of mud and a derelict, rusty Highbury flag laying on the dirt.
Now to be honest I haven’t been taking the best care of it, I keep forgetting to water it. But it was definitely there a few days ago. I thought it might have died but then there would be dead grass, there’s only mud. I would take a photo of it but it’s too dark now…
I look around the garden lost, confused, devastated and realize that all the flower baskets and pots are empty, all gone. Then I remember… the gardener came the other day. [And no I'm not rich or anything, the house I'm renting just comes with a free gardener. Nice] That fucking cunt has ripped out all the flower beds for re-planting INCLUDING my fucking Highbury Turf. A piece of physical memory of a past home holding so many memories – all gone. So much for a free fucking gardener, rather have done it myself than my Highbury Turf get brutally murdered.
What must’ve been going through their head when they pulled it out? I will admit that potted grass does look a bit odd. But there’s a fucking metal flag stuck in it saying ‘Official Highbury Turf 1913-2006′.
Gutted.
I’m sorry for repeating my life story to you but I’m a bit pissed off right now. There’s no news anyway to be honest. Fabio Capello says Walcott wants to play for both England and the U21s this summer and The Mirror have a story saying Eboue is on his way out with absolutely no quotes, facts or insider information to back it up. Is that even a story?
Well anyways I’m going to leave you to it. I’m lost; I don’t know what to do. I’m going back outside and have another drink whilst I phone the police. This is not over.
Have a good weekend.
What a fucking cunt that gardener is. I bet he is a spud or pissed Villa scumbag! Next time he comes round to do the gardening ask him if he can read and if he says yes then thumb him in the next. Make his breathing difficult for a while. Bastard!
*thump, not thumb. Opps!
wbat a cunt that gardener is
kill the sonofabitch !
fuckin hell ‘chef, you are making it look seem like this guy is a serial killer. you deserved it, i have seen it recently and it was in a proper old state, you didn’t take one bit of care for it. not exactly the best news day then, if that’s the best story.
What a cunt! I’d put that flag so far up his arse he’d be able to wave it with his tongue.
BTW: Stu – Did you mean thump in the neck?
id put a fuckin bat round his canister,perhaps he will clone it and make a highbury turf of his own
rip
Fucking cunt needs serving up the fucking mug.
dude that SUCKS.
the more i think of it the more it annoys me and it doiesn’t even affect me!
i mean seriously how fucking stupid can he be? stupid or bitter. both are as bad.
Ask FRed nicely, he may upgrade you ‘chef, mines coming along nicely
At least I still have the Highbury Mud.
I feel gutted for you – commisserations!
There’s no way he didn’t see the flag thingy and removed the grass just like that. It must have been deliberate from a Spud!
That gardener needs my mums cock in his arse, the thieving shit monkey….WANKER!
I feel your pain lasagnechef.. I wonder what he did with it? Maybe it will be reincarnated in a compost heap into wonderful nutrients for new grass to feed on.
you should have took some astroturf from the footpath behind the goal!